I think that comprehensive sex education in schools is so important. That said, thinking back to my sex-ed experience, what we learned was not nearly enough for us to navigate our teenage angst! I would love to be a part of developing a more holistic approach to sex education—a modern program that helps teachers provide non-judgmental and realistic information for kids.
BIRTHPLACE
Voorhees, New Jersey
CURRENT CITY
Los Angeles, California
ON SEX ED
I think that comprehensive sex education in schools is so important. That said, thinking back to my sex-ed experience, what we learned was not nearly enough for us to navigate our teenage angst! I would love to be a part of developing a more holistic approach to sex education—a modern program that helps teachers provide non-judgmental and realistic information for kids.
ON IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
One thing I wish I could give up: self-doubt. It’s terrible. I’ve never been on set and not thought that I was going to get sent home. Not once. Every single job that I’ve ever been on, I’ve felt that if I make it to lunchtime, I can relax— “Ah, they’re not going to send me home now. It’d be too expensive.”
ON ROLE REVERSALS
As much as it would be nice to get a total break from the industry, it would be amazing to be on the other end of the camera. I take lots of film photos—technically bad photos of my professionally good looking friends.
ON CREATIVE CHEMISTRY
For this shoot I was able to choose the photographer: Jennifer Stenglein. We met on a job in Bali a few years ago and I immediately fell in love with her. It’s rather impossible not to! I can’t tell if I want her to be my mom, my girlfriend or my best friend. She’s so in love with women and it shows in everything she does.
ON FOOD RULES
I’m a vegan, and I haven’t eaten meat since I was about eight, but you won’t hear me talk about it much. Of course, I really care about the environment and animals, but I don’t like the idea of preaching. What we choose to put in our bodies is so deeply personal and we’re all trying our very best with the information we have.
ON FLYING
I almost always cry on airplanes, which is hilarious considering how often I have to fly! My friends and I call it airport anxiety. There’s something about it—the nauseating scent of jet fuel, the idea that you’re always leaving something behind, stuck looking out the window for hours contemplating every decision you’ve ever made. I’m a window person, although I have to pee constantly so I apologize in advance if we ever get seated together.
ON PET PEEVES
Picky eaters. Oh my God, if you’re an adult and I find out you’re afraid to try new foods, I’ll just have no respect for you anymore.
ON HIDDEN TALENTS
I can juggle anything that’s round and smaller than a bowling ball.
For me, I find the most pleasure when I am unapologetically myself. To be liberated by the feeling that I’m most myself at any moment… feeling that, even if it requires you to be your most vulnerable, is fucking amazing.
Having the strength to express your wants, needs and desires without the urge to downplay them, you develop an immunity to the judgments and obsessions that hold you back. My whole career has been a river of winding experiences, and I honestly didn’t think I would find so much joy in pursuing this path. I’ve always been a bit restless and mercurial—growing up, my family moved seven times before I turned 16. I don’t really know why; my grandma says we get itchy feet.
I was born in New Jersey, and we lived in Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Michigan, Wisconsin and California before I graduated from high school early and went to live with a family in Sydney, Australia. After I’d grown up in so many places in rural and suburban America, Sydney felt special and dynamic. I ended up going to college there, and I got scouted by a modeling agency on campus when I was 17. It wasn’t long before I dropped out of school and moved to New York—during Fashion Week in February. I don’t know if you’ve ever stepped foot inside a modeling apartment, but it’s basically purgatory. The only thing in the cupboards was a tub of Mucinex, and in the fridge there was a six-pack of Diet Coke. I think I cried every day for six weeks. I was certain I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I’m only five-foot-nine—I don’t do Fashion Week!
The city was freezing and covered in gray slush. I hated it so much. But after about a year, I got acclimated: I started working in a café to meet people, the modeling jobs started trickling in, and I got out of that unfortunate bunk-bed situation. I quickly grew to love the freedom that my job allows me. As consumer-driven as the industry may be, I love the idea that you occasionally get to fulfill the role of a muse or otherwise participate in creating something sincere. As a model, you live and die for those days. That’s why I was so excited about working with PLAYBOY: The ability to have a say in the creative brief is such a rare privilege. It really is an honor.
My favorite thing about PLAYBOY, and also the scary thing about it, is that everybody has their own personal relationship with the brand. Like cilantro or the word moist, it elicits strong reactions. My friends and family were all super supportive of my decision—not that they had a choice; I’ve been running around naked since I was five years old. With any concerns that I encountered, I reminded myself that I was doing it because I wanted to. If female nudity offends some people, that’s fine. If others think that female nudity undermines the word and ideal of feminism, that’s also fine. I don’t agree with either of those sentiments, and I’m so proud of what we created for this issue. Pleasure is not a luxury; I wish I’d told myself that when I was younger. It’s not a reward for working hard. It’s not an inherently guilty experience. Pleasure is absolutely a priority for a healthy life.
